Fear and Missing Out

Hello Everyone,

The fear of missing out has stalked me for a long time.

When I was about 10 years old, I remember complaining to my mom that we never did anything fun. For instance, we never went to the beach. Wanting to provide a happy childhood, a little while later my mom took my siblings and I to Crysler Beach, on the beautiful shores of the St. Lawrence River. It was okay, but kinda rocky and not at all as much fun as Archie and the gang seemed to be having in all the comic books I was reading. They were always up to hijinks and good times, while I was hanging out at this lame beach with my family.

As an adult, I can see that I may have had an unrealistic image in my mind. But I haven’t fundamentally changed. Now, it’s not the adventures of fictional characters that I envy, but the real experiences I see my friends having.

Some go on awesome expeditions sailing, rock climbing, and camping in cool places with their families. I want to do that too.

Some have awesome gardens in the country, and build things with their hands, and I’m deeply envious.

Some have awesome style, and their house is clean, organized and tastefully decorated. Their kids wear cool, stylish clothes. They read voraciously. And I wish I lived like that.

I envy them all, and I don’t know how to spend my time. I’m also acutely aware that the time I spend worrying about this is time I’m not spending actually doing cool things. FOMO can not only make you unhappy, it also eats up your time.

But I’ll put in a good word for FOMO. Just as the deep fear of harm coming to the Munchkin keeps me sharp in looking out for potential danger, the fear that I am not spending my one life well motivates me to examine what it is that I am doing with my time.

FOMO gets me out of routine, forces me to make changes and take leaps. I know it’s better to have an aspiration to do great things rather than a fear of living a boring life as a motivator, but it still works. And they’re not mutually exclusive.

It’s true that Archie comics weren’t real. No one lives like that. But it’s not completely wrong. People do have fun on big sandy beaches. I’ve tried it, it’s awesome. FOMO has helped me go on mountain biking adventures because I’ve seen other people do similar things.

The key, I think, is to let yourself be in the moment when you are doing something legitimately cool. When I’ve camped in a remote location, gone backcountry skiing, or took part in a nighttime search in a forest, I try to remind myself that this is the cool thing I had previously wished I spent my time doing.

Wes