Children are Ruthless Negotiators

Hello Everyone, I’ve been doing a bit of babysitting lately, and I’ve come to a somewhat dark realization: children wield power like a Wall Street exec with a stock option bonus on his mind. They are ruthless in pursuing their goals and will walk all over if you let them. Sure, they’re insanely cute and say the darndest things (children, not execs), but that’s what’s so evil about their machinations: the cuteness is the weapon. Are you going to say no to a doe-eyed child who goes for a second Christmas cookie after struggling to get them to finish any of their dinner? Of course not. What are you, some kind of monster? They also have radar like a submarine and can hone in on your weakness. I don’t know what the bedtime routine is, so when a kid says that they are allowed to watch three episodes of Peppa Pig, what do I have to back up my contention that they don’t? Nothing. And they know it. Same goes when, instead of settling in for bedtime stories, they go get a cup for water in case they are thirsty in the night, and preempt any protestations on my part by busting out the “I’m allowed to have it” card. And don’t think that they aren’t upping the number of stories they usually get. I can’t say if it’s 2 or 3 or 4, so I can’t really argue with whatever number they come up with. Lastly, they are also willing to play a high stakes game of chicken. I was changing a diaper before bed when the kid said they had to poop, so of course I let him rush off to the potty. Well, he pulled that routine on me three times before I finally got him in his PJs, and not once did he actually have to go. He was just delaying bedtime, but I wasn’t willing to gamble on it, and he pressed that advantage, hard. Now, you might think that extra cookies, tv shows and bedtime stories are pretty small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. But, it’s all kids really care about. What I care about is getting them off to bed at a reasonable hour so I can go watch some Netflix. Guess which one of us gets what they want? wes 

Photos 

Here are a couple of shots from in and around the holidays.

This is the rink dad and I made for some shinny on New Year's Eve. Was super fun.

Captain Serious goes to a party.

Arthur looking noble. 

Arthur looking ridiculous.