The left behind series

Hello Everyone,

This is yesterday's email. The library is closed Sundays, so I wasn't able to send it out. Today's email should arrive shortly.

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I graduated university in May of 2004 and got a job with a landscaping company. I didn’t mind doing a labour job, as I had been doing them every summer since I was 13. But in September, when students starting showing up in Ottawa again to go back to school, and I wasn't, I had a very uncomfortable feeling. It was a mixture of feeling left out, adrift, lonely and worried. I had always gone back to school in the fall, and this was the first time I wasn’t. It was very dislocating.

I got a bit of that this afternoon. The campsite where I am staying had been packed for the last couple of nights. I had met a bunch of people, hung out by a campfire, talked biking and cool places to go, all good stuff. But today, almost all of them packed up and headed home. They had places to be and things to do. And I’m still here at the campsite, which is now mostly vacated.

On the one hand, they envy me because they all wish they could stay longer and bike more. And they should, the trails are amazing and I had a great day today, despite cooler weather. Seriously, look up a trail called Mescal, the views are stunning. And I am going to extend my stay here in Sedona by a day to take advantage.

But on a different level, I envy their lives that call them back. Shakespeare once said that freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. Sometimes when you are on a long road trip, one that grants very wide freedoms, you feel a bit like that, like you don’t have anywhere to go.

It was actually Janis Joplin who sang that lyric, not Shakespeare, but the point remains.

Now that I’m on social media, I see more than ever examples that I don’t want to emulate. Accounts that show nothing but an endless stream of positivity and boosterism. I feel that is disingenuous. Everyone knows life isn’t like that, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

I want to provide a more accurate view of what this trip is actually like. So, today, despite riding awesome trails, I felt a little down coming back to an empty campground. If you envy my freedom, know that I also envy your stability.

wes