Why parenting is hard and Roger Federer is the greatest male athlete alive

Hello Everyone,

This is my second consecutive post about parenting. It's a bit of a weird trend, given that I only babysit occasionally.

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About 10 years ago, when Roger Federer and Tiger Woods were at the top of their respective sports and setting records, there was a debate about who was the better athlete. Woods had a few more Majors than Federer had slams, but Roger was about to break the record for most Slams while Tiger was still a little ways off the mark for golf. For me, the question was straightforward. Federer's opponents react dynamically to him; Woods' don't. That is, the former was trying to beat a human, someone who could study and react to input. A human can change and adapt on the fly; a golf course can't. Thus, Roger was better. Recently, I did a bit of babysitting. I also tried to get a few chores done, while babysitting. Why is parenting hard? Because kids are like tennis opponents, they react dynamically. Not paying attention for a second? They'll wander off. Set something down and they'll seek it out, and then wander off with it. Hand them a popsicle and they will grab it by the frozen end. Didn't see that one coming, did you? That's exactly the point. Kids see your vulnerability with the perception of a world class tennis coach watching tape of your matches. They are looking for vulnerabilities.

What's more, they don't have all the preconceived ideas about how to live in society that we have. We live within the lines, while they freestyle. And because of that, they can think of ways to hurt themselves or cause damage that would never occur to us. It's hard to anticipate that.

In my case, I thought I'd be smart and get around this by including Harrison in the chores. Holding stuff, spraying the hose, cleaning, etc. That had some mixed success, but Levi is another matter. His thought pattern, from what I can tell, looks like this: "Oh, are the two big dogs wrestling? Better go get in the middle of that." "I wonder how this dirt tastes." "What's this wood stick doing in my popsicle? I better hold on to the edible part with my hand so the sugary liquid goes down my arm." "Wipe the peanut butter off my hands before I touch everything? What am I, a communist?" "I'm pretty sure I can outrun my 6' tall uncle with my short, stubby legs and recently acquired walking skills. I'm going to make a dash for freedom." "Is that a tool that's been used on dirty, greasy things, or a spoon? I'm pretty sure it's the later, I'm safe to put it in my mouth."

How am I supposed to deal with that kind of thought pattern? Even Federer was eventually found to have weaknesses, and my skills as a babysitter are at least one, maybe even two, notches below his as a tennis player.

wes

#Parenting